I am so sick of Christians thinking, if something is said by a person that is a non-Christian it can't be truth. Now, I know and you all know that I'm pretty liberal. And that's fine that's not my issue. My issue is people believing that it's ok to do whatever they want to the environment, that everyone who is slightly post-modern is a Satan worshipper, and just the plain holier than thou attitude that abounds in our flock.

I feel utterly stifled in the Bible belt. It's not matter of me not being religious enough it's a matter of being surrounded by people and these are the words of my father "Who are so Heavenly minded that they are no earthly good."

We need to wise up and stop making lists of people who are going to hell, as one done at the church where I attended on Sunday, and actually get out there and save some people. Quit wasting so much time at the church building I included and get out there and do something. And for the love of all that is pure and good reduce, reuse, and recycle.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” or "No day but today." Which is true? Sadly, both cannot be truth. Either you believe in the future, planning, hoping, and dreaming, or you believe that all you have is today so you should live it to the fullest. I don't know what I believe tonight. One part of me strongly believes that the first statement must be true. This part is the logical, responsible, a degree will help me succeed in life part. The other part of me that part that seems run by my heart, compassion, and a sense of duty believes that there is no time like the present.
I watched The Constant Gardner tonight. A good film I couldn't tell you how much of it was fiction and how much fact. I fear more of it was fact than I'd like to believe. But even watching this movie on mute would have caused the same effect on me. I desprately want to go to Africa; I am sure that I can do good there actually benefit people. This is from the No day but today side.
This is not to say that I can do no good here in my own country there is a chance that I may. But I fear that I will become "the man." One of my deepest fears is that I will go to church every Sunday quite content with my self, that I will work my job and spend my money on things. I will be a good middle class American. I don't want that; I don't want that at all. But what else is there to do? I don't know how to stay here and avoid that trap. I don't know of an example to show me otherwise. Some days I really like the idea of moving to Connecticut, getting a little house, drinking as much coffee as I wish, teaching at a nice school or getting another degree and teaching at a small college. I'm not perfect that's for sure; I want security and a sense of self actualization. I know what a "good" life I could have here.

SO the question is do I really believe that if my goal is Africa I will get there? Do I really believe that the future and this is a future of substance belongs to those who dream? I don't know.

Call it what you may I have no answers.

I work in an office. This office has been eluded to before in several entries. Now, however, my office has been relocated to a new building. This building is run by a dicatator named well we'll call him Blankety Blank. He in my opinion is a big jerk.
The head of our Department the Blankity Blank is very anal retentive. He is in charge of basically everything and our building. He has lots of very specific rules for example no dark beverages (we have new carpets), specific organizers for items in the office, no signage outside the offices (that's what room numbers are for), We aren't aloud to have bulletin boards, even though it's a schoo,l outside of rooms. It's a "professional" building which is fine on some levels but hello it's a school. There are classrooms all around the offices. But my favorite rule of all is that we aren't aloud to use, and i quote "visible post it notes." He doesn't like the way that they "look" this man obviously never does any real work b/c all of these demands are obsurd. Every office I know of runs in a manner opposite of this one.
Being the person that I am my first thought is to say down with the man. I intend to drink my Diet Cokes (which are sold in the building), use my postit notes and make them as visible as possible. How should I remember things or leave msgs for my co-workers if I don't have post it notes? Post its were listed as one of the greatest inventions ever.
I am, however, under another authority. My boss Dr. Magician. She's a rule follower. If there is a rule she intends to follow it. Which in some aspects is fine. But change does not occur when everyone does what they are told and refuses to think for themselves or at least act on their thoughts.

So, I pledge here and now to drink dark sodas and use as many Post It's as I can. Down with the man. Viva la France.

The movie I would like to bring to you is titled Off The Map.

This semester I was blessed to attend a wonderful class taught by the esteemed Dr. Engel. The class: Literature of the American West. Now while this class entailed far too much reading and in the end I skipped one of the books it was an awesome class. I learned much and rekindled the love affair of my youth with the American West. While there is much more to it than the romantical view held by my younger-self, it is still a mesmerizing place not that I have experienced it sadly myself through more than film and literature.

Speaking of experiencing the west through film. Off the Map is a poetic journey through 8 years in the life of a New Mexican family. This family is focused on living life not on making money. The father believes that you lose more having a job than you gain. He says that if you spend all day working for someone doing what they tell you to do, you don't have anytime to learn the things that you want to do.

The cinematography of this movie could stand alone but it is backed up by it's lyrical narrator and creative story line. This film based on a play is worth its slow start for it's meaningful ending.

If you're looking for a character driven indie film about something more than who slept with who last night see Off the Map.

So I would like to start off this entry by saying that I am pouting. It is 69 degrees outside and I am inside b/c I pulled a stupid calf muscle at the gym yesterday so I can barely walk. So now I'm sitting here watching Extreme Home Makeover marathon which lets be honest makes me cry more that just about anything. I mean it would be a like a dream job of mine to do what these people get to do.

Christmas was awesome lots of good gifts and most importantly lots of amazing books. I can't wait to read them all.(refer to top for current reading choice). We got a wireless hub which is cool but I'm having trouble getting it to work right where is Coop when I need him? I had an awesome time with Jeremy's family. I love my brother in law b/c he is really funny and extremely intelligent and has really good taste in women. I love my sister in law it's fun to have someone to watch food network with. And my mother in law is awesome; we are so much alike.

Our 1st anniversary was great. I can't believe that we've been married for a year. New Years Eve was great I made chicken parmigana. I love Rachel Ray her recipes are so easy and good. Well I guess I'll get back to work on a little project.

Here are some things that I enjoy doing. . . Crocheting, Baking, Reading, Cooking,
Here are some other things that I enjoy doing. . . Playing any and every sport, working out, hiking, building things, organized things, fixing computers. . .
My activities that one might consider "Manly" or dare I say it "husbandly" far outweigh the others.

Now these are all things that I like doing. Martha Stewart in many ways I have decided is similar to myself. She enjoys baking, crafting, and what not but at the same time she is a tycoon. When Martha bakes no one says "wow, that sure was a wifey thing to do, Martha!" Why is this you may ask? Ahh I know b/c Martha is a kick butt tycoon and no one would dare say something so demeaning and impersonalizing to her. She is without a doubt a person, not a wife. I hate it when people refer to me in ways that they wouldn't refer to others mearly b/c I am married. My relationship status should have no bearing on which activities I enjoy. I hate it when people count me out of things as if a) simply b/c I am married I have lost all knowledge of an outside world or b) as if I have been married since birth. I hate it when people ask me questions and address them to my husband. I apologize for ever using the collective we.

Am I a wife? Yes. Am I a person that is successful and independent? Heck Yes.

Everyone pick up a copy of Pride and Prejudice (and this does not include that piece of crap movie) read it and meditate upon it. Jane Austen did not risk her life writing such a glorious work for me to be referred to as merely a wife.

Thank you for time and reading. Comments as always are welcome.

It is currently 4 am. I at this point see no reason to go to bed. This week has completely and utterly ruined my sleep habits. I went to bed at 12:00 only to awaken at 1:30 feeling greatly refreshed and ready to work. So I've been working on my final Creative Nonfiction essay. It's pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. I am surrounded by bits of paper and diet coke cans there are books at least 15 strewn about the floor from last nights endeavors. I have returned to my old friend Critical Theory Since Plato for some help in writing my essay. It is quite amazing that a book that is well over one thousand pages and is intense on every level not to mention incredibly difficult to read, I cried over it a many a time, could bring such inspiration. Maybe it was having a certain Captain usher me through it the first time that brings such satisfaction to each little page. I do not know.

At any rate a brief diatribe:
Why the man wants to keep us sleepy:

I believe that the Man, and we all know who that is, wants to keep us sleepy, so that we are less able to overthrow his regime. If the establishment is able to keep everyone between the ages of 18 and 30 tired and up late at night, they are unable to man a revolution during the day. Ahh that crafty man, nothing more than a fox. He should be punished. We should sleep.

Conspiracy theories are so easy to hatch at 4 in the morning.

As-Salâmu 'Alaikum

Well while the rest of my life is not decided, for example where we'll live for the next four years, the summer has been decided. A position of authority will be taken Jeremy and I are co-directing the place where friendships begin. This will undoubtdly be an interesting, fun summer of growth. It will be weird to be on the other side of things, but I think it will be cool. Really I'm just going to be a trophy wife let's be honest this camp is run by the CofC. Luckily, I'll be clad with several degrees and a working knowledg of youths. Anywho. . . Back to the take home final.

Tomorrow, I am getting my hair cut. I have NEVER, ever gotten my hair cut, by anyone other than my mom. I am nervous. This is a big investment. It costs a lot to get your hair cut; not just money but your personality and peoples perception of you is at stake. Things could go poorly. But hopefully, they won't. This is what I want it to look like.

I think this will look good both straight and curly. Of course there is little I can do to make it look any different when it's curly. Robyn says that getting my hair cut is a big event. She says it deserves balloons. I think that I will now mark events in my life by whether or not they deserve balloons. For example, today is my last day of working at the job that I hate until Jan 9th I believe this event deserves balloons.

The worst of my semester is over. I only have 2 nonfiction essays, 1 take home final, 1 in class final, some annotated bibliographies and 2 portfolios to put together and then it's home free. I can't wait to get on that plane. MMMM NY state here I come.