Itinerary

11:51 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Here is our itinerary for Europe.

If you click on the links you can see where we are staying in each locale. We are doing a few side trips from main cities. From Siena we are day tripping to Volterra, a walled city in the hill country. From Florence we are technically day tripping to Pisa, although it's really a trip enroute to Vernazza-The Cinque Terre. On our way out of Italy, we are stopping in Milan for the day before continuing on to France. I'm excited.

I hope to post while I'm in Europe. We shall see how that goes.

European Excursion Itinerary
Date Day Travel/City Lodging
31-Jul Friday Leave Boston Fly Into ROME Night and Day Hostel
1-Aug Saturday Rome
2-Aug Sunday Rome
3-Aug Monday Rome
4-Aug Tuesday Rome/Siena Hotel Alma Domus
5-Aug Wednesday Siena
6-Aug Thursday Voleterra
7-Aug Friday Siena/Florence Katti House
8-Aug Saturday Florence
9-Aug Sunday Pisa/ Cinque Terre Camere La Torre
10-Aug Monday Cinque Terre
11-Aug Tuesday Cinque Terre
12-Aug Wednesday Cinque Terre/Milan/Paris
13-Aug Thursday Paris Hotel Amelie
14-Aug Friday Paris
15-Aug Saturday Paris
16-Aug Sunday Paris
17-Aug Monday Paris
18-Aug Tuesday Leave Paris to Boston

To Do . . .

8:44 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
There are so many things to get done before we leave on Friday, not big things just lots of little things. Yesterday, we went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and Walmart to get all the little odds and end things like quart size Ziploc bags, travel toothpaste, travel alarm clock (because we won't have cell phones) and some snacks for the flights. Our previous international flying experience was to Africa. I hated the food and thought I was going to starve both ways. I'm guessing this will be a better experience, but if it's not I'm prepared. We also had to get Jeremy a new money belt. We looked all over the house and couldn't find his anywhere. Considering we've moved about five times since the last time he used it, this is not a surprise.

So things to do:
  • Laundry - Of course there is always laundry to be done.
  • Clean the house - Luckily since I've been home all summer, its really not that bad. But still it needs to be done.
  • Car Inspection - Hopefully, this goes off without a hitch
  • Print all of our reservation stuff
  • Copy important documents
  • Pack
  • Decide whether to mutilate the Rick Steves travel guide. He suggests it, but I'm not sure if I can cut up a book.
Now, I just need to get motivated and get all this stuff done.

And today is Jeremy's birthday; he's 26, finally! I'm exactly four months older than Jeremy. I like when we are the same numerical age better.

I'll post an
itinerary soon.

Turkey Bacon . . . Just Not Worth It

6:38 PM Edit This 1 Comment »

For dinner tonight, I made a broccoli & spinach crustless quiche. It was quite good. I designed my own recipe, and we had leftover Parmesan Herb Bread. We also had turkey bacon. . .

Here's what I've decided: I hate turkey bacon. I would rather have just one piece of real bacon than eat whatever the equivalent of turkey bacon. It's just not worth it. Turkey bacon has no flavor; it is bland and boring. There are many things that are both healthful and delicious, turkey bacon is not one of them.

My advice to you is skip the turkey bacon; go ahead, have the real bacon. It is worth running an extra 10 minutes or only having one delicious, salty, crunchy piece.

Turkey Bacon = Bad

Real Bacon from a Pig = Good
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Working Out

8:59 PM Edit This 2 Comments »













This summer I've been able to work out tons. It's been awesome.

Early this spring, I got new running shoes. For the first time, I purchased New Balance shoes. I had always been a Nike person, but these shoes are awesome. New Balance shoes are great because there are so many options. I don't have the best feet; my feet are flat and wide. With New Balance I can get great arch support, wide width, half sizes. These are much better than Nikes.
Thank you New Balance for giving me shoes that work.

My gym is not the coolest and certainly not the cheapest, but it works. I hate working out outside, so I go to the gym even in the summer. I need consistent conditions, and I get that at the gym. It's great because not many other people are there in the summer.

Now I am by no means a runner. I think I can safely call myself a jogger. I'm not fast enough to be a runner, which is ok with me. I'm very picky about which treadmill I use. I feel like I formed a bond with this treadmill this summer. We've already logged a lot of miles together.

I hate when I get there and someone is on this treadmill. It makes me feel a little ticked off. It's my treadmill, not yours.

My goal is to be able to run 5 miles in an hour. Right now I can only do three miles in 45 minutes. Maybe someday.

Peace out.

Summer

11:32 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
I thought the last time I wrote in my blog it was maybe June or May at the earliest. Boy was I wrong; It was April. Oh well an update.

In May. . .
In May, Jeremy completed everything for his minor. So, he's 2/3 done with school. Of course the last third is really quite enormous - disertation. His presentation was great. Even though, I probably only understand about 5 minutes of it.
Dinner after Jeremy's Minor Presentation

In May, we saw one of the only 80 plus degree days we've had this year and the only day I've been to the beach so far this summer.


June . . .
June seemed like a month that would never end. Towards the end of the month Jay came to visit. It was a fun time. We toured New England, which is always fun. We went to a Red Sox game, and they LOST!!! It was great.















July. . .
This month has been busy. I've been in a book club with some people from school. It's been easy summer reading, which has been enjoyable. First, we read The Girl Who Stopped Swimming and now we are reading A Reliable Wife. I've also been reading other books, of course. It has been a good reading summer so far.

One big event was seeing Gone with The Wind on the big screen. It was marvelous and spent the whole next day swooning.

Last week, we went to NY. We spent some time with Brazas family, fun as always. Then we went to Syracuse for Katie Owens and Will Powell's wedding. It was great to see them and lots of our other camp friends. Then Saturday night, after the wedding, we stayed with my brother. The beginning was fun, until I got violently ill. I was sick all night. Jeremy was great and stayed up with me. Then we had to drive back the next day. Cars + Severe Nausuea = one long car ride. Jeremy was gracious enough to drive the six hours back home. I'm feeling mostly better now.


Overall, I've been working out tons and eating the good food that is so plentiful in the summer. I haven't been working much on stuff for our trip to Europe the last few weeks, but I will be now that we're home for a bit. T-Minus 17 days until we leave, on what I'm sure will be the trip of a lifetime.

Rest and Relaxation

6:49 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
T Minus one day until my April Vacation. Thank goodness. I am whipped. This was a long week.
My plans for next week include but are certainly not limited to:
  • Making a new pair of linen pants.
  • Reading - finally finishing Rabbit Redux and then starting The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
  • Working Out
  • Perfecting the Itinerary for Europe - I need to figure out what were doing in Paris
This Saturday Jeremy and I are going on our first hike of the season to Mt. Chocorua in the lovely White Mountains.

Welp that's it. I'm out.

All Alone

8:16 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
So Jeremy is gone for the weekend. There are some things I have realized about myself. A wonderful time for a list:
  1. I am not a neat person. I do not care if things are tidy.
  2. I really only need bowls, tea cups, and spoons to survive.
  3. I watch too much TV.
  4. I spend too much time on the computer.
  5. Sounds around the house make me nervous.
  6. Sleeping alone is too quite and not fun.
  7. However, getting to sleep with the fan blowing directly on my face is nice.
  8. Laughing by yourself is not as much fun as laughing with someone else.
  9. I would not like living alone.
  10. While I have always been opposed to guns, there's a possibility I would purchase at least mace if I lived by myself.
Well there is update two in less than a month.

For Becka

7:21 PM Edit This 3 Comments »
Becka is a diligent poster. I feel guilty when I read her blog and a few others on a regular basis and never contribute anything myself. So here is an update.

This summer we are going to Italy and Paris. I spent weeks research tickets, hotels, and activities. There are still more activities to plan. However, all the hotels are booked, and the plane tickets are purchased. We're going from July 31 to Aug 18 flying Aer Lingus. This means we have a connection in Dublin. I am reallllllllllly excited about this trip. I have wanted to go to Europe basically my entire life. I should be working on memorizing some useful phrases but so far the closet I am to memorizing them is that I wrote them on note cards. We'll see how that goes.

Last weekend, for my birthday, we went to Montreal. Vieux Montreal (Old Montreal) is beautiful. It's full of great architecture, cathedrals, cobble stone, etc. The weather was nice for Canada in March, and we were able to stay outside, walking several miles exploring the town.

There are 14 days until April Vacation, which I am immensely thankful for. This has been a long school year due to the fact that we've had a total of 9 days off for bad weather. My students are trying(read disturbed) as always, but I think I have definitely improved since last year. However, I still have a long way to go to being a really good teacher.

My 45 minute drive to and from work is made increasingly better by NPR and miscellaneous audio books. Currently, I am listening to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Highlights from the audio books include, but are not limited: There Are Gods in Alabama by Joshylin Jackson, When You Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Dairy Queen by Catherine Murdock. I'm sure people who drive by me and see me laughing hysterically or crying depending on what I'm listening to probably think I'm crazy.

Jeremy is going to Wisconsin for a math conference in two weekends. As a surprise, I purchased him a ticket to a Cubs game. He will freeze and be alone, but hopefully he'll still have fun.

I've been slowly learning to sew and I hope to improve and make some more projects. It seems I will have to find some baby projects to work on as Jay and Jessa are going to have a baby in October.

Well I think that's enough for now. I will really try to not let it go another 9 months before I update again.

Blog Out

7:21 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
This blog is going private. So shoot an email or leave a comment if you'd like to be added.

So here's an update of sorts . . .

12:33 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
see the other blog. . . I'll update this one soon. I promise.

jeremyandclarice.blogspot.com

Feed the Need

11:42 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
We currently attend Bethany Church. This spring we participated in something called Feed the Need; where we attempted to raise 50 tons of food for 50 food pantries in the area. Well we raised enough money to by over 50 tons of food. After we raised the money, the church bought the food and then all of the small groups got to deliver the food. The fund/foodraiser was such a success the story was on NPR. Here's the link to check it out. The first part is about rising food prices; the part about Bethany starts around 7:20.

Feed the Need

Almost a Year

6:16 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
Wow! It has almost been a year since the last time I wrote on here. It probably would have been a whole year but Becka said she wanted to read my blog. She's so faithful about writing on her blog, I would feel ashamed to have her look and see that mine is a year old.

So let us see.

Last Summer:
Jeremy and I co-directed at Camp Hunt with Jon and Julie. It was an awesome summer. Quite possibly the best summer I ever had at camp. The campers were awesome and so eager to learn. We had the best counseling staff full of leaders and supporters. We completed big projects (the pool). We passed inspections. We asked for help when we needed it. The numbers were up this summer as they haven't been in a few years. During the day we worked hard and hung out with campers and kept things running. Julie and I took on canteen, which believe me is a big job. I got to spend time with Lydia who is an amazing little girl. At night, we split our time between reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and playing Settlers with the Singletons. All in all it was an amazing summer. We aren't going to camp this year for a sundry of reasons, which saddens me greatly. I am glad we got to end our time at camp with such an awesome experience.

The Fall:
After we got back to NH and during our time at camp, I desperately searched for a teaching job or any job. I couldn't get hired anywhere or for that matter interviewed. I couldn't even find non-teaching jobs. During the last week of August, which is when all of the schools start; I, on a whim, emailed about a Special Education/English job at a high school about 45 minutes away. (Side note: It's a pretty famous school. Allan Shepard went there. Robert Frost taught there). They emailed me back that day and asked for a digital copy of my resume. I of course sent it and went in and interviewed the day school started. The former teacher quit the week before school started and lucky for me they were desperate. I interviewed, and it went well. They called me that afternoon offering me the job. I took it without hesitation, because we were about to go under financially.

The Job:
My job is an interesting one. I teach English to students with Emotional Handicaps. I teach grades 9 -12. These kids all have crazy lives and so many problems. There are many days, the priority shifts from teaching to just helping people survive. I am growing to enjoy it, most of the time. The commute sucks more than any other aspect. A 45 minute drive with no weather means an hour and a half in snow.

Current Life:
School is winding down, we start the last 9 weeks on Monday. Jeremy's classes are going well and he only has about another month of school. 2 more years for him and then he'll be a Dr. woo woo. We are going to have a busy summer. Jeremy will hopefully be teaching a class this summer a few days a week. We are going to Arkansas in July for Shawn and Jacques's wedding. In August, we are going to NYC (my first time), and we're seeing the Yankee's play! Hopefully, we'll get to do some camping and hiking. I am going to try to blog more and get on top of it. It will be a nice way to avoid work.

Time

4:05 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
So I haven't been writing to Time every week, but I am trying to write frequently. So here is this weeks letter.

Dear Editor:

Concerning the article "How to Fix No Child Left Behind," I
praise Wallis and Steptoe for finding the positive attribute of NCLB,
which is the spotlight the law has put on the discrepancies in
learning that still exist between social class and race in our
country. It is my hope that we are on our way to mending these flaws.
However, Wallis and Steptoe could have put a more effort into
delving into the deep hurt that this law is putting on actual learning
in this country. Doing well on an exam in no way reflects how well
students comprehend and retain material. The reasons students are
doing well on the tests are largely due to these drill sessions like
the "Super Saturdays" mentioned in the article. Rote memorization and
cramming are poor substitutes for comprehension. With every year that
we descend into NCLB, teachers are forced to include additional
material into the already loaded school year, which leads to coverage
and a mere survey of the subject matter, not depth.
Finally, until the United States as a whole values education we
will be stunted in the gains we could make regardless of what law is
currently governing education. An educational institution, no matter
how effective can ever replace the qualities instilled in children at
home.

Spring and My Disdain

11:09 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
I'm beginning to hate spring. It's never been my favorite season; I'm really more of a fall person, but now I really don't like spring at all. I really shouldn't blame this on spring herself. It's not her fault that she falls at a horrible time of year for me. For the last three springs, I've had to apply for jobs. For the last three springs I've spent my days and nights applying for jobs only to be continually shot down. In the last week, I have sent ten, that's right ten application packets out.

For those of you who haven't applied for a job lately and especially a teaching job it is a whole lot of paper work. If someone were to steal one of my applications they could steal my entire identity. You need college transcripts, your teaching license, references, a heart felt cover letter, and a resume. My resume in my mind is some sort of magnum opus due to the amount of time I have spent with it over the last three years. I've cared for it and nurtured it, added to it as frequently as possible. It's high time for it to give something back to me, namely a job.

If I don't get a job, I'm going to give up teaching at least while I'm here NH and try something else for awhile. It' s not what I want to do, but I need a job that pays on a regular basis. Not getting a job would lead to me having to apply for other jobs in what would most likely the business sector. An office is basically the antithesis of who I am. I hate punching a clock and being inside in all day.

Ahh I shouldn't be so down on spring; It's really not her fault after all.

Precision

12:35 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
I am not a person of precision. I enjoy things where there is a little wiggle room. I crochet instead of knitting, because with knitting you have to do it just so or you get a hole. When you crochet you can easily fudge things, and when you have completed the project only the most attentive eye would be able to find the flaw. In English as compared to math, there are many correct ways of doing something; answers, overall, are subjective. If you can convince your reader of your point, whether the point is correct in their mind or not, you still get credit for it. Cooking is something else I enjoy. A little of this, a little of that, taste it - if it is good move on you've done your job.

Now, however, I have come to something that I must conquer. Bread. Bread on the whole seems simple. The actions you take are simple. The ingredients are items most people have in their homes. Wheat is one of the most prevalent things in the world. But bread or at least yeast is fussy. It hates me. Yeast is like a sickly, little kid that needs to be coddled and have it's hand held constantly. I know there are people who can whip up a loaf of bread with ease. I am not one of them.

After working slowly, after following the recipe in a most exact way, I managed to come up with something very similar to bread. It tastes good and looks ok. It still will not rise it the rounded shape that I would like. This may have something to do with the way I shape the dough into loaves. As I had feared this may be one of those aspects of life that requires practice.

My Return

9:18 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
So as it may be noticed I've taken a bit of a hiatus from the writing scene, but I am back. I've decided one way to make myself write more is to set mini-goals. One of these is to write a letter to Time every week until they publish me. So here is the first installment.

To the Editor of Time:
I'm a 24 year old biracial woman, and I just want to say "Don Imus I'm not mad at you." Now before anyone gets all heated, let me just say maybe Mr. Imus made a poor decision, but so what? As an English major and a writer, I understand the power of words, and I want the power to say and write them. I believe in free speech. Free speech does not mean you can say what you like as long I agree with you. In fact, I think the beauty for free speech are the opposing views that are aired. We need to move out of this fever of offense that we have all settled into and get a grip. Whatever happened to sticks and stones?

When it comes down to it most people wouldn't have even heard the "offensive statement." if everyone had not gotten all flustered. Racism, hate speech, whatever you want to call it wouldn't be half as powerful if everyone just chill out and stop repeating every little thing they hear that they don't like.

So Don Imus, while I don't support you or what you say I wholly support your right to say it.

To Live Deliberately . . .

10:49 PM Edit This 3 Comments »

"I went into the woods to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what is had to teach. . ." HDT

As a child of 12 or 13 I did not fantasize about the same things other girls my age did. At times, there was the reading of magazines and thinking of movie stars and sports heroes, but largely I spent my time reading books. I rarely read pop fiction (The Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley High); overall I read larger works Christy, and Little Women. I was still deep into Little House on the Prairie, probably immature of me but something about all these books drew me.

Flash forward 6 or 7 years to college, I found myself enraptured by Thoreau and Emerson, seeking out Frost. Another few years put me in graduate school in a class titled Literature of the American West. Again, I was engrossed in the literature reading and reading as hard as I could and loving every minute of it, wishing for some land, a sheep, freedom, and peace.


Today I went on a bit of a hike. It was brief but beautiful and woodsy. The trail led to a very gentle section of the Lamprey river. There were what I will call red pigmy squirrels, about the size of chipmunks with rose red tails; I am quite sure I have discovered this species, although some may disagree. A giant woodpecker caught my eye, the largest I've ever seen. He reminded me of a dinosaur, not because of his size but the shape of his head; I though of Darwin. There was a small graveyard of 10 - 12 graves the earliest date on the tombstones I could read was 1850, but I am sure the others were much older cracked and decayed. As I was hiking, I thought of Thoreau as I passed through the woods and Frost as I passed through the meadow.


As my husband and I entered the trail, a family came out a husband and wife about our age and their parents one set at least.
The mother cried "people, civilization, Thank Goodness! I didn’t think we'd make it out alive."
The father echoed by saying, "I hope you've worn bug spray it's horrific in there. They will eat you alive."
The younger couple laughed only agreeing that there were many mosquitoes. We not really having planned this venture had no bug spray. There were in fact numerous bugs, of which I have the marks to prove. These people didn’t seem to enjoy themselves at all they irked me.

I have been on a journey, a search for a very long time. I've been looking for the rawness of an untamed country. I have searched in vain. It is gone. I feel like Edward Abbey (read Dessert Solitaire). I will not have what Thoreau had; it is gone. I cannot forge a trail to some place special, because the special places are gone. I cannot live off the land, because no matter where I go there is at the very least a gas station full of "convenience" every few miles. I love my cell phone, car, and computer, but occasionally I wonder at what cost these things exist. I fear that we are becoming a people who have an impossible to fill nature cavity. I want to walk in a wood without trashcans or directions. I want to get lost. If the primitiveness is not there, I'm not sure that nature is the same.

Reflections on New England

4:56 PM Edit This 1 Comment »

Part 1

My neighbor plays jazz. Well, actually, he doesn't "play;" I suppose it would be more accurate to say he listens to jazz. He listens loudly. It's the type of jazz that you listen to at full volume, or at least he does; it's the type of jazz that has a bass, not a bass guitar, but a big bass. The type of bass that goes

"THOOM, THOOM, THOOM . . . THOOM THOOM THOOM."

The bass goes on and on never stopping, thooming it's way into your core.

My husband and I were carrying some boxes out on to the patio of our apartment. The neighbor pops his head out and says,

"Hey I see you guys just moved in."

Even an obvious statement said in a New England accent can be amusing. My husband speaks I would much rather listen than talk to a stranger.

"Yep we just moved in today." "Have you been living here long?"

"Nah I been here about a week. Where are you guys from?"

"Originally Rochester, NY but we just moved up here from Arkansas. We were going to school down there. Where are you from?"

"I'm from Mass. Seems like a nice place here."

I'm from Mass. What the heck is Mass? I process that he is from Massachusetts. Now Massachusetts is a long word but it takes no more time to say than Mississippi, California, or Oklahoma. I find his abbreviated state use preposterous to say the least. I keep an ear out for him for the next few days. Boisterous Spanish speaking woman come on his patio, an odd occurrence in the white out of New Hampshire. I realize that this gentleman neighbor of mine may only be the beginning of peculiar happenings.

Part 2

Rural New England is the America that America left behind. The people are friendly, but strange. The culture is costal whatever that means. All of the towns have historic and elaborate downtowns. The barista at the local coffee/book/icecream shop said to me,

"New Hampshire is cute, that's really the only thing you can say about it. It's just so darn cute. People say that Vermont is cuter, but it's not and honestly they're the same state anyway."

She's right, the barista. Everything about New Hampshire is picturesque, from the stone houses with red barns to the sprawling creeks and rolling countryside. It's beautiful.

If the government decided the whole state of New Hampshire needed to go back to buggy use and leave the cars, I think the people would agree, as long as they were allowed to use their cars to haul their kayaks and canoes. The cars seem almost odd against the countryside that time forgot. Since I've lived here, less than a week, I have seen Lama's, Horses, Sheep, and Cows. There are wineries and places that make their own wool and yarn. Seriously, who does that.

The pace of life is different here. It's not slow like the south but more of a meander. Possessions, work, destinations, they are all important, but life is important. Being outside and spending quality time with the people around you. It sounds like a Hallmark movie, but it is all true. The barista's name is Emily; she is 24 and has lived in New Hampshire her entire life. She enjoys browsing through the books at the back of the coffee shop. How many people know that much about someone they've met once.

What I've Come to Expect

2:42 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
As many of you may know, I live in Arkansas. There are certain things that I have come to value during my time here. One of those things, is that people can smoke in restaurants. In the north, this pretty much doesn't happen anymore. People are barely aloud to smoke in bars there, much less a restaurant. Now, let me make it very clear. I am not a smoker. Also, I do not condone smoking. However, I do believe in personal freedom. I think that people should be allowed to make their own decisions. I should be able to chose, if I so wish, to light up in a restaurant. I understand the idea of family restaurant, if the owner chooses to make it non-smoking that's fine. But it should be the owners choice. Life is about choices. What prompts this discussion you may ask?
Well last night, after work, my husband and I decided to go to one of our favorite little restaurants here in town: Waffle House. There are certain things I expect when I walk into a Waffle House one of these thigns is to be greeted by the smell of grease and smoke. Last night, when I walked in I thought, "my it smells odd in here." It smelled almost clean. I though this was extreemly weird. The restaurant was very empty. Being only one of three places open after 10 this too was strange. I sat down and ordered my coffee. And then I saw the sign. Black with blazing red letters. NO SMOKING. How could this be? My Waffle House had been infiltrated. I asked my waitress with her died hair the color of wet black top, "Are you guys really no smoking?" She replied, "Yes, and between that and IHOP things are horrible." I fear for my little Waffle House. It deserves better.
My food didn't taste the same. The coffee was good, but not like what I've come to expect.

I cry freedom.

LIfe as I Know It

4:52 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
So here's the scoop.

We are most likely (90% sure) moving to New Hampshire. Jeremy will be attending The University of New Hampshire. The town is really pretty; it's about an hour by car or train from Boston. It's about 6 -7 hours from home.
Why, you may ask, are you no longer going to Philadelphia/Drexel?
Well Drexel has done a horrible job of getting any information to Jeremy. They still haven't offered him a Teaching Assistantship and we have no way of knowing if they will. UNH is not only offering him full tuition but a large stipend. There are several job openings for me around the town, so hopefully, I will find a job quickly.

We were at first dissapointed about not going to Philadelphia, but now this is looking like the better thing to do. Students and teachers from UNH have emailed Jeremy asking him to come, and I think it will just be a better fit for him.

If, Drexel offered a TA spot we would consider it but not necessarily go.
Anyway, That's what's going on.